Ask the Mario Kart 7 Characters
by Lemette Koopa
Summary: Welcome to Ask the Mario Kart 7 Characters, but they are not here to race for Victory no, no. They are here to answer questions from our fellow questioners so what are you doing just standing there grab a friend and read. This story is based on Humor and most important RANDOMNESS.
1. Let's introduce ourselves

Chapter 1- Let's introduce ourselves

Hello, Hello, and another HELLO to you and Welcome to Ask the Mario Kart 7 Characters

Coco: Hello everyone this is your author Coco C. Valdez and today you will all ask questions to the Mario Kart 7 Characters. Here is a list of the **MAIN** people you'll be asking: Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, DK, Bowser, Toad, Koopa Troopa, Daisy, Wario, Rosalina, Metal Mario, Shy Guy, Honey Queen, Wiggler, and (last but not least) Lakitu.

Coco: First up to introduce themselves is Marto

Mario: It's Mario

Coco: Yeah whatever, just hurry up Pablo.

Mario: FUUUU-*Explodes*

Coco: Okay forget him next is Luigi.

Luigi: Hi, I'm Luigi I usually assist Mario on his adventures-

Mario: *Reassembles* More like getting your ass whopped by a hideous turtle dragon thing!

Bowser: HAHAHA-Wait a minute, WITCH.

Mario: Stuff it, Smartass.

Coco: Shut up and let the cowardly fool talk!

Luigi: Yeah, let the coward-Fuck you

Coco: Man you guys are retarded well, next up is Peach.

Peach: Hi I'm Peach-

Coco: Dude we know your name by when I say 'next up is' so and so.

Peach: Alright, alright *Mumbles* you don't have to be such a witch about it.

Coco: What was that?

Peach: Nothing.

Coco: Know what we'll just skip to the Unlocked Characters

Bowser: But, you were just getting to me, OH you Son of a BI-

?: Hey dad.

Bowser: Who the eff is calling me- what the hell are you doing here Ludwig and why are Larry, Lemmy, Morton, Roy, Jr., Iggy, and Wendy here.

Ludwig: The author let us come.

Coco: No, no ,no you guys asked me if you could join an I said no.

Bowser: Then why the hell-

Coco: Shut the Fuck up, Fatback and let me finish anyways-

Larry: We made a trade with her.

Bowser: What kind?

Larry: Can't tell it's a secret.

Lemmy: *Blurts out like an idiot* We gave her all your money in exchange to come here.

Bowser: You Bast-

Coco: SHUT THE HELL UP! Now let's continue. Please thank you Daisy, DAISY!

Daisy: *Snores*

Mario: How the hell did she sleep through THAT?

Coco: Who cares *Checks list* Rosalina.

Rosalina: Gladly, I am a princess from the Galaxy and-

Coco: Not interested.

Jr.: How could you interrupt such a wonderful speech

Everyone: *Looks at Jr. like he's crazy*

Coco: *Sprays Jr. with something that causes amnesia*

Jr.: AHHHH-What just happened.

Coco: Better, now the ones who'll introduce themselves are Shy Guy, Honey Queen, Wiggler, and Lakitu.

Wario: What about me.

Rosalina: And me.

Metal Mario: AND me

Coco: Wario, Rosalina may I remind you that you've been in **other** video games.

Wario and Rosalina: *wth face*

Metal Mario: Ahem

Coco: Oh yeah, you're exactly like Mario, but you're made of metal case closed.

Mario: So NOW you get my name right.

Coco: Stuff it, Pluto.

Mario: *Walks away offended*

Metal Mario: But-

Coco: CASE CLOSED! Okay now Shy Guy you're up.

Shy Guy: *Makes Shy Guy sounds*

Coco: Okay *Retarded smile* Since we have no idea what the hell he is saying let's move on to Honey Queen.

Honey Queen: I am the queen of bees and love to race so when I heard of Mario Kart 7 I joined in and-

Coco: Geez, you talk like Morton.

Morton: HAHAHA-Wait, HEY!

Honey Queen: Who?

Coco: Never mind *Whispers* Maybe they should've named you the Chatterbox Queen. Okay next is, Wiggler.

Wiggler: *Makes cute sounds*

Coco: Can't understand.

Wiggler: *Talks in English, but with a Deep Man Voice*I said I am a worm/caterpillar nuff' said.

Coco: Ohhhkaay and next, but last is Lakitu.

Lakitu: Sup' Mofos.

Coco: Ahem.

Lakitu: Oh yeah, right I am a guy who likes to race and stuff and I work for Bowser.

Bowser: That's right, that's right. Speaking of which about the trade- Awe never mind, but I'm still on to you.

Iggy: We're screwed.

Coco: Man you people are so stupid you can't even form an angry mob and attack me.

Everyone: *Forms mob, chases Coco and chants*Get Coco, get Coco.

Coco: *Runs out* Well maybe not that stupid so don't forget to R&R. P.S. HEEELP!

Everyone: Get her and bye *Runs out to get Coco*

**Authors note: First Person who reviews will get to be on the show for 3-4 chapters. So hit the review button and ask away.**


	2. Let's start the Q's and A's

Chapter 2- Let's start with the Q's and A's

Coco: Hey it's the one and only Coco C. Valdez.

Aly: What does-

Bowser: Who the hell is that.

Coco: She-

Ludwig: She looks retarded.

Coco: *Smacks Ludwig on the head* You calling her retarded look at you.

Aly: *Points and laughs* HAHAHA.

Bowser: ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!

Coco: Okay, okay she was the first reviewer so as a promise she'll be on the show for 3-4 chapters.

Bowser: Oh hell no.

Aly: Oh hell YEAH!

Coco: YEAH!

Everyone else: YEAH!

Coco: Now let's get on with the questions.

Metal Mario: *Looks at script then back at Coco* What do you mean there is only **ONE **question.

Coco: *Wth face* Looks like people don't take me seriously so read it.

Metal Mario: Why me.

Coco: *Gritting teeth* READ IT!

Metal Mario: Okay, okay.

Bowser: What is your favorite course in Mario Kart 7?

Everyone else: Same question as Bowser.

Yeah, I really cannot think of anything. I read that SOPA is trying to shut down this website! It's not Fair! His is the only place we can relax, and they're trying to shut is down!

-spatterson

Coco: You heard the question answer it.

Mario and Metal Mario: Mario Circuit.

Luigi: Luigi Raceway.

Peach: Mario circuit.

Aly: Because?

Peach: My castle is in it.

Yoshi: All of them are crappy.

Aly: *Punches Yoshi* Are not.

Coco: DK say yours quick.

DK: DS DK Pass

Bowser: GBC Bowser Castle 1, Bowser Castle and Neo Bowser City.

Coco: Of course, NEXT!

Toad: Toad Circuit.

Koopa Troopa: Uhhhh…..

Bowser: You better say mine.

Koopa Troopa: Bowser's favorites are my favorites.

Daisy: Daisy Hills.

Wario: Wario Shipyard.

Rosalina: Rosalina's Ice world.

Shy Guy: *Makes Shy Guy sounds*

Aly: I think that it is Shy Guy Bazzar.

Shy Guy: *Nods head like crazy*

Honey Queen: I like all courses.

Wiggler: Wii Maple Treeway.

Honey Queen: I change my mind I like Wii Maple Treeway.

Wiggler: Copycat.

Lakitu: Same as Bowser's and Koopa Troopa's.

Coco and Aly: Why?

Lakitu: I don't want my head chopped of.

Coco and Aly: *Wth face*

Coco: See ya'll tomorrow. *Runs out*

Aly: Same here. *Runs out*

Bowser: Dammit. *Runs out*

Everyone else: *Runs out*

Coco: *Comes back* Dammit they are trying to shut it down! Not if I can help it. *Runs out for real*

Aly: *Comes back* I'll help you, too. *Runs out for real*


	3. Not many questions again

Chapter 3- Not many questions again

Coco: Hello, hello and welcome to-

Aly: -Ask the Mario Kart 7 Characters.

Coco: Hey!

Aly: I had to say it sometime.

Coco: Fine. Say Aly do the state farm jingle.

Aly: Why?

Coco: I am to lazy to wait for them.

Aly: Okay, Like a good neighbor state farm is there with all the characters here.

Everyone: *Pops out of nowhere*

Coco and Aly: Yay!

Coco: Metal Mario read the questions.

Metal Mario: But there is only one question.

Coco: *Wth face*

Aly: I wooooonder who that could be.

Coco: *Looks at Aly* Thanks you are the only one who takes me seriously. METAL MARIO READ THE DAMN QUESTION!

Metal Mario: Alright, alright Witch.

Coco: I heard that.

Aly: Wait before that what about my OC, Alyssa.

Coco: Who?

Aly: *Wth face*

Coco: Oh yeah sorry. Please welcome our new OC, Alyssa.

Alyssa: Hi.

Bowser: Shit!

Alyssa: *Smacks Bowser on the head with a hammer* You just messed with the wrong gal.

Coco: She got Spunk.

Aly: She learned it all from me.

Alyssa: *Wth face* Yeah right.

Metal Mario: Ahem, questions.

Coco: Read away.

Questions for the koopalings and a dummy, er-Bowser.

Bowser: Witch.

Aly: Shut up!

Ludwig: Finish this lyric: I'm sailing away. Set an open course for the virgin sea…

Wendy: Y U NO HAVE HAIR?!

Roy: Have you seen the latest episode of Real Housewives?

Larry: You're my fav. Am I your fav? (Smiles creepily with Jeff the killer grin)

Junior: BOO! Did I make you wet yourself? :D

Lemmy: Chocolate?

Iggy: Shopping? Right now?

Morton: Cake? Right at this moment?

Bowser: Do you have any friends? No? Alrighty then.

See ya!

-Thisisafanfiction

Aly: Yay! My questions rock.

Lemmy: Should we answer them?

Coco: *Wth face* What do I look like an answering machine. YES!

Ludwig: And what is **THAT** suppose to mean?

Aly: Something.

Coco: I'll answer Wendy's because Nintendo-

Iggy: Likes-no- Loves to make fun of Wendy. *Laughs*

Wendy: *Slaps*

Roy: Real Housewives I love that show I'm still on Episode 5 and-

Everyone: *Stares*

Toad: *In Background* FAG!

Roy: This means nothing.

Larry: Of course you're my fav!

Junior: AHHHH *Wets himself*

Aly and Alyssa: HAHAHA!

Coco: Yup, she learned it from Aly alright. Ludwig.

Ludwig: On it. *Ties Jr. throws in a chest locks it sends it to Antarctica* Done.

In Antarctica

Jr.: Oh cool, a Polar Bear.

Polar Bear: *Looks at Jr. walks away comes back kicks Jr. leaves*

Jr.: Owww!

Back in the Castle

Coco: Great, Lemmy.

Lemmy: CHOCOLATE?! WHERE!

Aly: outsi-

Lemmy: *Runs out* I LOVE CHOCOLATE!

Coco: The dude has serious issues.

Iggy: Why would I wanna go shopping?

Aly: I don't know maybe for a cool gadget or raygun or-

Iggy: *Rushes to the store*

In the Store

Iggy: La la la la I'm gonna buy a nifty gadget. DUN DUN!

Aly: Weird kids you got, Bowser.

Morton: CAKE?! WHERE!

Coco: Go to the Bakery and get-

Morton: *Runs with Sonic Feet* CAAAAAAAKE!

Alyssa: Him and Lemmy have the same issues.

Coco: You are very correct, FATBACK ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Bowser: WHAT?! I do have some friends.

Aly: Oh yeah? Prove it!

Bowser: FINE I WILL. Well there is uhh… no there is uhh… oh yeah Gary!

Coco: From SPONGEBOB!

Bowser: No you idiot my minion, Gary.

Gary: I HATE SPONGEBOB AND I HATE YOU, BOWSER!

Larry: WITCH NO YOU DIDN'T I LOVE SPONGEBOB!

Larry and Gary: (Hey that rhymed) *Have a fight*

Coco: That ends this Chapter and I NEED MORE FRICKIN QUESTIONS, and you people are supposed to be asking the MK7 Characters. It says so on the script. IT'S THE FRICKIN' TITLE!

Lakitu: IT IS?!

Coco: *Facepalm* Say Aly could I talk to you.

Aly: Sure.

Coco: Since the next chapter is your last chapter to be here I'll let you stay for 4 chapters.

Aly: Yay!

Coco: And we're of *Runs out*

Aly: Yahoo! *Runs out*

Alyssa: Yeah! *Runs out*

Everyone else I'm too lazy to name: *Runs out*

**Author's Note: 1. I'm not getting enough reviews please I need more and 2. I made a contest I will allow 5 OC's to stay for 5 chapters. Alyssa: does that include me! Coco: Yes, *Sigh* I does. Alyssa: YES! Coco: Shouldn't you be gone already? Alyssa: *Runs out* Coco: So the creators of their OC's will also be allowed in. Aly: Does that include- Coco: *Glares* Aly: Going NOW! *Runs out* Coco: So the contest ends Friday March 21****st****, 2014.**

**Have a great day. And please MORE QUESTIONS! And I will be updating 3-4 chapters a week because of school, but on Summer Vacation I'll do a chapter every single day!**

Random

Aly: What does the "C." stand for in your name?

Coco: Claire, why?

Aly: Awesome!

Coco: Thanks, I guess.


	4. St Patrick's Day: Part 1

Chapter-4 St. Patrick's Day: Part 1

Coco: Hello and welcome to Ask the Mario Kart 7 Characters.

Aly: *Walks in with Leprechaun suit* Hey, Everyone.

Coco: Why are you wearing that?

Aly: Hey, this isn't what I wanted to wear. *Runs out*

2 Minutes Later

Aly: *Comes back* There we go green shirt, jeans, and hat.

Coco: Aly, please.

Aly: Okay, Like a Good Neighbor State Farm is there, with all the stars here.

Everyone: Huh?

Coco: Finally, we are well, we don't have any questions today so now we can relax.

Everyone: Yes!

Coco: So, everyone, start working.

Aly: *Gets streamers (green ones) hangs them around the castle*

Bowser: *Gets a table* Wait a minute why am I helping.

Coco: Cause' if you don't your kids will become famous and you won't.

Bowser: Dammit.

Alyssa: *Gets green party hats sets them on the table* Perfect!

Rosalina: *Brings a big as heck cake*

Larry: *Brings*

Coco: *Uses State Farm Jingle to get everything else* Phew, done.

Lemmy: WOOOOOO! PARTY TIME!

Coco: WAIT! Where is Jr.?

Ludwig: Remember.

Flashback

Jr.: AHHHH! No. Please, no.

Ludwig: *Sends to Antarctica*

Coco: Good job.

Flashback Ends

Coco: *Sigh* Like a good neighbor state farm is there, with Jr. back in the castle.

Jr.: *Popped out of nowhere* Huh? Yay, I'm back just in time for the party.

Coco: Whoooo! Looks like we're going green.

Iggy: But I's not Earth Day.

Coco: It will be soon. So now it's-

Everyone: *Waiting in Suspense*

Coco: -PIZZA TIIIIIIIIIIME!

Bowser: Yeah! WOOOOOOO! PIZZA!

Roy and Morton: DAD!

Bowser: *Ate half the pizza*

Coco: Guess I'll half to make another pizza we'll continue the episode tomorrow, and don't forget about the CONTEST! BYE!

Everyone: BYE!


	5. St Patrick's Day: Part 2

Chapter 5- St. Patrick's Day: Part 2

Aly: Hello and welcome to Ask the Mario Kart 7 Characters. Say, where is Coco?

Coco: Right here, like my new hairstyle.

Aly: Looks awesome and you have bangs they are so pretty.

Coco: Thanks, Everyone listen up today we will not slack of like yesterday we have to answer some questions.

Everyone: BOOOOO!

Coco: And I have added another person-

Jr.: Why?

Coco: -Because I read Matt1251's review because he wanted Toadette to ba here so, here she is now.

Toadette: Hey.

Coco: You're lucky someone managed to give you a question to answer.

Toadette: Yay!

Coco: Metal Mario read the first question.

Metal Mario: Okay.

Just now finding this so I'll ask my first questions!

Honey Queen: How come no one likes you?

Peach: I don't like you! You always win every time I play Mario Kart 7!

Wario: Lose some weight you fat pig -_-

Mario: Not as fat as Wario but u need to stop eating so much spaghetti

Daisy: …Your eyes are pretty…

-Corny354

Honey Queen: It's because you witches aren't asking me enough questions.

Coco: H.Q.-

Honey Queen: H.Q.

Coco: Yeah I'll call you that for short.

Honey Queen: Fine.

Coco: -It's because people barely know you.

Honey Queen: GET MARIO KART 7 GO TO 150CC AND UNLOCK MEEEEEEEEE!

Coco: Looks like someone is gonna explode.

Honey Queen: FUUUUU- *Explodes*

Peach: Hey it's not my fault a computer plays as me that's why it sometimes says COM Player.

Wario: *Eats a whole frickin' buffet* What I'm so not fat.

Bowser: Oh yeah looks like we just overloaded you with 100 canon balls.

Mario: *Eats so much spaghetti while talking* I can't help it I'm Italian, witch.

Daisy: Um… Thank you.

Luigi: BACK AWAY FROM MY GIRL SHE AIN'T YOURS SHE IS MY WOMAN!

Daisy: *Wth face*

Coco: How many questions are left?

Metal Mario: 1 more.

Coco: Hurry up and read it I want to continue our slack off/ St. Patrick's Day celebration.

Metal Mario: Yes.

I see the pun you made at the end "I guess we'll half to make another pizza." Get it since Bowser Junior ate the other… Oh, forget it. All right. QUESTION TIME! *insert dramatic music flourish here*

Mario: Do you think that the other characters deserve more attention?

Luigi: Which of your friends is most appealing to you?

Toad: All right, out with it. Who's your crush? ( Werehog, if you don't say Toadette. I will kill you. Lol, just kidding! But my opinion of this story will decrease dramatically.)

Toadette: Same question.

Well, that's all I have! I'll review when I think up more. For now, PEACE!

-Matt1251

Coco: It wasn't Jr. who ate the pizza it was Bowser an I made a fresh new badge.

Bowser: Can I-

Coco: No, your frickin' retarded kids, MK7 characters, Aly, Alyssa, and Toadette will eat first.

Bowser: Dammit.

Koopalings: Witch.

Mario: Hell to the no these jackass's don't need more attention I need most of it.

Coco: *Whispers* Dumbass.

Luigi: Everyone knows that it's-

Coco: You can't say Daisy.

Luigi: *200 Wth faces* Shit! Well, Mario I guess.

Toad: Duh! Don't you know it's-

Coco: He does know he just wants to know if I make you say it so or he'll kill me. Bring it on! You can't fight me!

Toad: Ahem, stupid anyways-

Coco: WITCH!

Toad: ANYWAYSSSSS, Toadette is my crush *Blushes*

Toadette: Awweeeee. That's so sweet.

Bowser: *Toadette's voice* That's so *Normal voice* Retarded.

Toad: SHUT THE HELL UP AND DON'T YOU EVER MAKE FUN OF HER LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN YA' HEAR!

Larry: Yeah Dad, don't hate because **YOU** don't have a girlfriend.

Lemmy: Yeah, HATERS GONNA HATE!

Bowser: Raaah! *Chases Lemmy and Larry* AHHHHHH.

Toadette: Uh… it's Toad.

Toad: HELL YEAH IT IS!

Toadette: *Wth face*

Coco: Ok everyone, let's go to the kitchen and continue our one of a kind, awesome, amazing, frickin' BUFFET! *Opens door to find all food eaten and Wario in a chair*

Wario: BUUUUUURP! Excuse me.

Coco: Angry mob form and ATTACK!

Bowser: RAAAAAH!

Wario: AHHHHH! Why the hell are you chasing me?

Everyone except you-know-who: Because that food was supposed to last a full 10 CHAPTERS!

Wario: How the hell was I supposed to KNOOOW! AHHHHH HELP!

Coco: *Chases* Well, stay tuned on April 1st for April Fools.

Jr.: It's gonna be filled with games.

Larry: And Pranking.

Bowser: Food.

Larry: And Pranking.

Roy: TV.

Larry: AND PRANKING!

Morton: Cursing.

Larry: AND PRANK-

Everyone: WE GET IT ALREADY!

Larry: Witches.

Coco: Aly, I'm gonna let you stay for the whole entire story, okay.

Aly: Okay.

Alyssa: Can I stay to?

Coco: Of course you can since you and Aly are my best friends next to Christina you will stay FOREVER!

Aly and Alyssa: YAY! Now, back to chasing Wario.

Everyone: GET WARIO!

Wario: Why did it have to be me.

Lemmy: Wait. Isn't he to fat to run?

Wario: *Waddles*

Iggy: Huh. Well that was easy. ATTACK!

Everyone: Yay! Bye and remember-

Coco: I NEED MORE FRICKIN' REVIEWS OR ELSE I'LL

Bowser: -Or else she'll explode.

Coco: *Glares*

Bowser: GOING NOW!

Coco: See ya, jerks next chapter.


	6. HOLY CRAP, Bowser Won!

Chapter 6- Holy Crap Bowser WON!

Coco: *Wearing a racing suit* Hello and welcome to Ask the Mario Kart 7 Characters.

Aly: *Walks in* Why are you dressed like that?

Coco: I just had a great IDEA!

Alyssa: *Walks in pushes Aly out of the way* What is it! WHAT IS IT!

Aly: *Gets up* Owww. Witch.

Alyssa: Shut up, so tell me.

Coco: Doesn't the racing outfit even give you a clue?

Aly and Alyssa: *Thinking* Hmmmm…..No.

Coco: *Wth face* Ugh… Well, we are going to- Wait! This is called Ask the **Mario Kart 7 **characters.

Aly and Alyssa: Yeah?

Coco: So, we are going to do courses/ race against each other while answering some questions.

Koopalings: *Walks in* That's a great idea!

Coco: I know right. Aly, Alyssa let'sget you two dressed.

5 Minutes Later

Aly: *Walks in with a bright green jumpsuit* Like it.

Coco: Niiiiiiice. Let's see Alyssa's.

Alyssa: *Walks in with a sky blue jumpsuit * Don't you just love it.

Coco: It's so pretty, so Alyssa state farm jingle now.

Alyssa: Like a good neighbor state farm is there, with all the MK7 characters and Toadette here.

Everyone: Nice, so what's up.

Coco: We're gonna be racing like on MK7.

Toadette: That's do cool I wish I could join.

Coco: But you are in it.

Toadette: Really?

Coco: Course you are in it why do you think I put you in this fanfic. So, let's get racing. Which course do you want to do?

Toad: Let's do Toad Circuit.

Rosalina: Rosalina's Ice World.

Jr.: *Because he has a crush on Rosalina* Rosalina's Ice World.

Coco: Rainbow Road.

Everyone: What?

Coco: We are going to do Rainbow Road.

Lemmy: Coolios.

Coco: So, now let's race and answer questions.

Everyone: Yay! Let's start racing. We love racing.

Marto: Yep, that's what we were born to do. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU PUT MY NAME AS MARTO!

Coco: Yeah, got a problem with that.

Bowser: HAHAHA.

Mario: First of all I'll kick your ass later second of all Yeah I got a problem with that.

Coco: Like we care.

Mario: FUUUU *Explodes*

Coco: Well looks like he ain't gonna be racing.

Mario: *Reassembles* HELL YEAH I AM!

Coco: Then let us start.

Mario: Fine.

Coco: *Warps everyone to the Rainbow Road Racetrack with their own cars* Well, here we are sweet, sweet Rainbow Road it's one of my favorite courses. Well, get in the seat.

Everyone: *Gets in seat*

Bowser: Can we race now I wanna kick Mario's ass in this game.

Mario: HA! Like you can.

Bowser: I'll show ya. I'll show all of ya'll witches what I can do.

Jr.: That's right dad, just keep on believing.

Bowser: *Growls*

Jr.: *Gulps*

Coco: Hey, random Lakitu who gives us the signal to start racing.

Random Lakitu: Yeah, what do you want?

Coco: Do you mind reading us the questions for our question show.

Random Lakitu: Sure, Yeah, Whatever.

Coco: 3…2…1…Go.

Random Lakitu: First question,

Hello can I join the story I am taco999o999. Here are the questions

Mario: What is your favorite item to use on Bowser?

Luigi: What are you and Lakitu doing with my cupcakes?

Peach: Do you like pie?

Yoshi: What is it like to lay an egg?

Koopalings all of them: Is Bowser annoying?

Bowser: If I told you if you die you can have cake would you die?

Toad: You are so stupid I can't even think of a question.

Wario: Please die.

Shy Guy: Did you eat my banana or did DK eat it?

Metal Mario: Is Honey Queen or Wiggler more stupid?

That is all ciao

-taco999o999

Coco: Sure you can join next chapter, though.

Mario: The star power.

Luigi and Lakitu: *Eating cupcakes* Uh… This means nothing.

Peach: DUH! Why do you think I make it.

Yoshi: I don't know I ain't no woman.

Koopalings: HELL YEAH HE IS!

Bowser: Yup, and eff you kids.

Koopalings: Same to you, Dad.

Toad: Fuck you, witch.

Wario: Why do people hate me? *Looks at Coco* Don't answer that.

Shy Guy: *Makes Shy Guy sounds*

Coco: He said that DK ate it.

Metal Mario: How am I supposed to know, wait a minute I do know they are both stupid.

Honey Queen and Wiggler: Witch.

Coco: 2nd lap.

Random Lakitu: 2nd and final question.

Coco: Read.

Bowser: How do you react when you get betrayed and hit with a shell of any kind?

Wiggler: Do you feel ashamed of yourself for being extremely tiny compared to Wigglers on Maple Treeway?

Everyone: Do you know when you are the *Looks both ways* chosen one. If you are ever a badass compared to other times you race, it's pretty much the main reason.

-X-ray99

Bowser: I feel ashamed of them hitting pure royalty.

Koopalings: Sorry dad it's just what Nintendo makes us do.

Bowser: I hate the fact that Nintendo keeps on trolling me, they even make my kids troll ME!

Koopalings: But dad, we like it.

Bowser: Well I am ashamed.

Wiggler: Yes, I hate being the shortest one I looks they are giants compared to me.

Coco: I think they all notice that, right.

Everyone: Right.

Coco: *1st place* Woooo, first place!

Larry: *2nd place* Not for long. *Throws red shell at Coco*

Coco: *3rd place because Aly passed her* Dammit I'm third.

Bowser: *8th place* Why does Nintendo have to keep trolling me.

Coco: Cause' you're a fatass. *2nd place* Oh snap it's the third lap.

Mario: *5th place* I'm a gonna get ya' Larry, ya' hear. *Throws an explode the first placer shell*

Larry: *4th place* Shit, I'm fourth.

Coco: *1st place* Oh, yeah I'm so gonna win.

Bowser: *8th place* Yes, Bullet Bill. *Uses it becomes 2nd*

Coco: Oh snap, Fatback's behind me well, not for long. *Throws green shell misses* Dammit.

Bowser: *Gains speed becomes 1st place and crosses finish line* WOOO, YEAH I'M 1ST PLACE BABY! OH YEAH!

Coco: And here are the results.

Bowser: 1st place.

Coco: 2nd place.

Aly: 3rd place

Alyssa: 4th place

Toadette: 5th place.

Toad: 6th place.

Rosalina: 7th place.

Larry: 8th place.

Lemmy: 9th place.

Morton: 10th place.

Roy: 11th place.

Jr.: 12th place.

Iggy: 13th place.

Ludwig: 14th place.

Wendy: 15th place.

Shy Guy: 16th place.

Wiggler: 17th place.

Luigi: 18th place.

Peach: 19th place.

Yoshi: 20th place.

DK: 21st place.

Daisy: 22nd place.

Wario: 23rd place.

Metal Mario: 24th place.

Honey Queen: 25th place.

Lakitu: 26th place.

Koopa Troopa: 27th place.

Mario: 28th place.

Coco: Dang, that was some results well see you people next chapter and yes taco999o999 you can join. Bye!


	7. LEMMY'S GONE HYPER!

Chapter 7- LEMMY'S GONE HYPER!

Coco: Hello everyone and welcome to-

Lemmy: *Breaks camera*

Coco: WTH Lemmy I just bought that camera, witch.

Aly: Hey guy- *Gets pushed over by Lemmy* Oww, what the crap Lem'

Coco: *Helps Aly up* Sorry I have no idea what's wrong with him.

Aly: I'll say this quick, Like a good neighbor- Oww.

Coco: LEMMY!

Alyssa: Sorry Aly Lemmy pushed me.

Coco: *Chases Lemmy with an axe* COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE DERP!

Aly: Like a good neighbor state farm is there with all the stars here NOW!

Everyone: Hello.

Lemmy: AHAHAHAHAHA *Runs past them with Sonic feet* YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIIIVE!

Coco: THEN I'LL TAKE YOU DEAD!

Bowser: STOP!

Coco: *Choking Lemmy* But I just caught the brat.

Lemmy: WITCH.

Bowser: Okay, who gave Lemmy sugar this morning?

Coco: You mean he was never born retarded?

Bowser: No- I MEAN YES he was born retarded, but this is why we banned him from eating sugar. So, WHO DID IT?

Larry: *Steps forward about to confess* Um… Dad.

Bowser: WHO EVER GAVE LEMMY SUGAR I SWEAR I WILL RIP THEM FROM LIMB TO LIMB AND CUT OF THEIR HEADS! So, what was that Larry.

Larry: *Stammering* Well, I..uh.. hope you find that person soon.

Bowser: LARRY!

Larry: Fine I did it-

Bowser: *Snarls*

Larry: -And I did **NOT** do it.

Bowser: What?

Larry: You see it all happened this morning.

Flashback

Lemmy: Hiya, Larry.

Larry: Um.. Hi Lemmy.

Lemmy: Could I have some coffee?

Larry: I thought dad **BANNED **you from drinking coffee.

Lemmy: No, he banned me from having to much sugar in it.

Larry: All right then *Hands over coffee and pours a small amount of sugar* Here you go.

Lemmy: Thanks you can go now.

Larry: *Walks out*

Lemmy: Stupid, *Pours all sugar into the cup* Ahhhh. That really hit the spot.

Larry: Forgot my Tennis Racket *Walks out* LEMMY WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!

Lemmy: I added a whole bag of sugar.

Larry: Oh, crap dads gonna kill me.

Lemmy: HELL YEAH HE WILL!

Larry: And he'll kill you.

Lemmy: Yeah right.

Flashback Ends

Coco, Aly and Alyssa: What the hell?

Bowser: Why the hell did you leave the bag of sugar right next to his coffee wait a minute *Hands on hips* Why the hell did you give him coffee in the first place?

Larry: Because-

?: Hello.

Bowser: Who the hell is that?

Taco: I'm-

Coco: Remember last chapter when I said he could join well, here he is now.

Bowser: What the fuck is your problem?

Coco: Don't you think you should ask Lemmy that.

Iggy: Why?

Coco: Because Iggy, Lemmy is now turning out to be a jackass.

Taco: Burn.

Coco: Do you mind if you read the questions.

Taco: …

Metal Mario: *Waiting in suspense*

Coco: What the hell is your problem?

Metal Mario: Shut the eff up I wanna know what his answer is.

Coco: Why- Wait now I know.

Taco: *Wth face* Well, sure I don't mind.

Metal Mario: YES! WOOHOO! HALLELUJAH!

Taco: *Stares at Metal Mario* Weird.

Aly and Alyssa: What the hell was that all about?

Metal Mario: *Notices staring* I mean, I'm gonna miss working for Coco.

Coco: Witch. So, Taco.

Taco: Yes.

Coco: Read away.

Taco: Okay.

awesome thanks for letting me join just call me taco  
questions  
wario you owe me a pizza when do i get it  
larry luigi lakitu you three are the awesomist do you want 1000 dolars  
bowser do you want a mega mushroom to crush mario  
mario watch out  
toad did you know if you jump of rainbow road you get a dollar  
peach and daisy how come you rule amd not your parents  
luigi and lakitu now you are eating my cookies  
wendy die

-taco999o999

Coco: Nice questions just please , no offense, get better please.

Taco: Fine.

Wario: You ain't gettin' no pizza.

Coco: *Witch-slaps Wario* Here. *Hands over pizza*

Taco: Thanks *Eats*

Wario: NOOOOOO!

Coco: Dude, shut the eff up some times I wonder if you're related to Mario with the retardness.

Mario: WITCH.

Taco: This is crazy.

Coco: They were born like that speaking of which where is Lemmy.

Bowser: Right here *Points to a cage*

Taco: *Shocked* YOU CAGED YOUR OWN SON I'M REPORTING YOU TO THE CHILD ABUSE CENTER.

Bowser: *Glares at Coco*

Coco: Don't.

Taco: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "DON'T" HE CAGED LEMMY!

Coco: If he was free he'd kill us all.

Taco: On second thought forget about it.

Coco: Next question.

Taco: Yes.

Oh my goodness! Bowser won in a match of Mario Kart 7?! When I play the game, I always win!

-spatterson

Coco: I know right Larry was a bit how do I put this…stubborn.

Larry: How…why.

Coco: How many more questions. Taco: *Checks laptop* 1 more.

Coco: Read it.

Hello, mi name is THE HINT - echo effect - and im gona ask all the male koopas.  
Lemmy: - gives him lots of bacon - abd why are you so stupid?  
Wendy: why do you act like a girl when your actualy a man?  
Iggy: who's your favorite sibling?  
Ludwig: what did you kill so it would pose as that dead animal of a wig you wear?  
Roy: why do you bully Lemmy?  
Larry: y stole all your money and killed all your plants?  
Morton: stay quiet for a whole chapter.  
Bowser: how much do you weigh?  
Junior: do you realize that when you grow up you will look like your father?  
And the special thing about me is that y will kill the people that y asked, but only two people will survive, and those people are Lemmy and Iggy, because they are my favoride characters, the others that y ditnt ask will live, and to make sure the others that y condemned wont escape these - sends millions of missiles to they're location - y created a force field aroud they're location so they wont escape, and the wons that i didnt chose can get out, but if they dont answer the questions, they will end up being killed instantly.  
So thanks for answering.

-THE HINT

Coco: Learn to spell dude well that won't prevent us from answering.

Bowser: We'll give him the bacon later.

Coco: *Witch-slaps Bowser* Even though he's hyper doesn't mean he can't eat. *Gives Lemmy bacon*

Lemmy: BACOON!

Wendy: FUUUU *Explodes*

Iggy: Lemmy, but for today Larry.

Ludwig: I DIDN'T KILL ANYTHING.

Lemmy: HE LIES HE KILLED SONIC!

Roy: Cause' he's a pipsqueak.

Coco: Just don't beat him up today.

Roy: Fine.

Larry: YOU WHAT?! *Runs out* I'll get you- *Comes back looks at script leaves carrying a battle axe* THE HINT!

The Hint: Like you can get me.

Coco: How the hell did you get here.

The Hint: Teleportation. RAAH *Fights Larry* AHHHH *Falls of a building*

Coco: How'd they get there so fast.

Far Away

The Hint: Teleportation.

In the Castle

Coco: He's very protective of his plants AND money.

Morton: …

Coco: That is cold he didn't get to talk for three chapters oh well, let's count another chapter and that INCLUDES this one.

Morton: *In mind* Shit.

Bowser: … Witch.

Coco: 700.

Bowser: Fuck you.

Jr.: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Coco: Are you done yet.

Jr.: NOOOOOOOOOO! Yeah, now I'm done.

Coco: Well that's it for today se ya'll next week and the contest ends Friday March 28, 2014. it's been extended since I haven't gotten a **SINGLE** one. Bye *Runs out*

Taco: See ya *Runs out*

Aly and Alyssa: Adios.

Everyone else (including Larry and The Hint): *Runs out*


	8. Please welcome, THE HINT

Chapter 8- Please welcome, THE HINT

Coco: Hello idiots and welcome to Ask the Douchebags.

MK7 Characters: ***WTH face* **

Coco: Kidding, welcome to-

Taco: -Ask the Mario Kart 7 Characters.

Coco: ***Growls***

Taco: Sorry.

Coco: Nah. I'm supposed to be sorry.

Taco: Why?

Coco: We never finished answering your questions so read away.

Taco: Yes sir.

Sup idiots? Here's some more questions.  
Mario: pick between Rosalina and Peach.  
Luigi: Is Daisy your GF, or is she in the friendzone?  
Peach: Do you have facial hair? like, *stifles giggle* peach fuzz?  
Toad: Sorry toad, but your non existent GF is in another castle! Yeah, doesn't feel too good, right?  
Yoshi: Stop running away everytime I get off of you!  
Daisy: What do you like to eat? (You were skinnier the last time I saw you...)

That's it!

Mario: What kind of a question it THAT?

Peach: *In mind* Of course he'll say me.

Mario: Rosalina.

Peach: WHAT?

Rosalina: WHAT?

Jr.: WHAT?

Bowser: YES, PEACH WILL FINALLY BE MIIIINE!

Peach: No more cakes for you Mario.

Jr.: BACK AWAY FROM THE WOMAN I LOVE ***Points at Mario with knife* **SHE IS MINE YOU GOT THAT!

Taco: Never knew he could be so violent.

Coco: Neither have I, WHICHEVER WITCH IS NEXT BETTER ANSWER THEIR QUESTION.

Luigi: She is my girlfriend ***Blushes***

Daisy: And he's my boyfriend** *Hugs***

Coco: Sweet and retarded at the same time NEXT.

Peach: I will kill you if you ever ask a question like this ever again.

?: Yeah, right.

Coco: Aly, where have you been?

Aly: I was on an adventure with Alyssa.

Alyssa: Hey did we miss anything?

Coco: Nope still on Aly's Q's.

Alyssa: Alright then.

Toad: WHAT?! No wonder she isn't here, but WHAT?! I'VE GOT TO SAVE HER! ***Jumps out a window***

Aly: I said in other castle not being held as a Damsel-in-distress like Peach but-

Peach: WITCH!

Aly: -BUT doesn't matter.

Yoshi: What the hell what do you mean. ***Sees Aly on back*** Get the hell of off me. ***Drops Aly runs away***

Aly: HEY, come back ***Chases***

Daisy: ***Hands on hips*** Are you saying that I'm FAT! If you're looking for a fatass, LOOK AT BOWSER!

Bowser: Oh, SHUT UP!

Coco: Next question is by, THE HINT, BTW where is he.

He's supposed to be here since I let him.

Bowser: ** YOU WHAT?!**

Coco: You heard me.

Bowser: Oh shit.

Coco: The Hint come on-

The Hint: Hiya losers.

Coco: READ!

Taco: ***Freaked out*** Okay

Thanks for including me so here are some questions for the koopalings, and HEY who called me a pervert, I'm gonna kill you with these - sends a meteor to however called him a pervert.  
All koopalings: what was your first reaction when you found out you are going to appear in Mario kart 8?  
Lemmy: - hypnotizes lemmy - every single person in the room is made out of bacon except yourself and you want to viciously maul everyone to death and the only way to stop you is to say buttcheckupmapelsleezetokepatty, so - snaps fingers turning lemmy into a vicious beast.  
Sincerely, THE HINT.  
Ps: Morton, you won your own talk show for finishing that dare.

Coco: BECAUSE OF YOU I HAD TO KEEP ON CORRECTING YOUR FRICKIN' AN'OYING MISTAKES!

The Hint: Sorry.

Coco: Calm down Coco, calm down. None of us called you a pervert.

The Hint: Oh alright.

Koopalings: We're in Mario Kart 8?!

Coco: That's right wanna know why.

Lemmy: Yes, yes, yes!

Coco: Because, you'll be so happy, Jr. is not in it so Nintendo decided to add you.

Koopalings except Jr.: Yay!

Jr.: WHAT?

Coco: Jr. you have been in many videogames, but your siblings have never, ever, EVER been in any single Mario Kart.

Jr.: I haven't been in any, too.

Coco: And that's where you're wrong you have been in Mario Kart Wii well, I think you are.

Jr.: Fine, I'll let the sibs take the spotlight.

Coco: I can't wait for it to come out.

Larry: WHEN DOES IT COME OUT I WANT TO BUY IT!

Coco: May 30, 2014

Larry: Dammit, today's March 24, 2014

Coco: Sorry, but we'll just have to wait, bu it might come out in April.

Larry: So, what's the difference?

Coco: April is after next week.

Larry: AWESOME!

Coco: I', GONNA BUY 1,000,000 PACKS OF MARIO KART 8!

Taco: Next.

Lemmy: ***Hypnotized* **I WANT BACON ***Pictures Coco as Bacon***

Coco: Lemmy say, buttcheckumapelsleezetokepatty.

Lemmy: Okay, buttcheckumapelsleezetokepatty. Yay, it broke the spell.

The Hint: Dammit

Taco and Coco: NEXT

Morton: Really? Oh wow I can finally read my 1,000,000 paged essay.

Roy: If you say one fuckin' word-er…sentence I'll beat the crap outta' you.

Morton: ***In mind* **Shit.

Taco: 1 more, Coco:

Coco: Alright then read so I can bust outta' this joint.

Lemmy: Yay! Jailbreak!

I want you to put me, THE HINT in your story. For my personality, make me a laid back guy that when someone insults me or someone else, I kill them with many crazy ways with my wand. As you read make me a magikoopa like Kamek. Thanks for reading.

Coco: SEE, I HAD TO DO IT AGAIN!

Iggy: Do what?

Coco: CORRECT HIS MISTAKES THIS IS SO FREAKIN' STUPID SEE YA'LL TOMORROW WITCHES ***Runs out***

Koopalings: ***Runs out* **WOOOO, for Mario Kart 8.

Peach: Mario

Mario: Oh, shit ***Runs out* **GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!

Peach: Get your ass over here ***Runs out***

Taco: Abusive, huh?

The Hint: Tell me about it. See ya ***Flies out with Taco on his leg* **GET OFF!

Taco: Please, take me with you I can' walk home.

He Hint: Why?

Taco: We are in Tennessee and my hose is in Antarctica.

Coco: ***Hangs on Taco's leg*** IT IS?!

Taco: What the Hell let go.

Coco: If I die you die then we all die.

Taco: Shit.

Coco: That's how I roll HOW WE ROLL.

Taco: Oh crap, don't sing.

Coco: Meanie, HOW WE ROOOOLL!

Taco: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!


End file.
